(Two examples from Western countries: the 17th-century Flemish painter Peter Paul Rubens is so famous for his depictions of plump, plushly upholstered women that his name has been borrowed to describe that style of feminine beauty. Plus there's plenty of fertility idols, called Venus figurines, always of large women. You were considered very well off if you could afford to provide enough for your wife/husband to gain weight. note The likely reason was an overweight wife/mistress/harem girl or husband being a status symbol for the wealthy. Many ancient and modern cultures prefer hefty, moderately overweight women to skinny ones. In Real Life, some prefer the term "Fat Admirer."īoth labels are often applied to anyone who dates a heavy person but isn't overweight themselves, regardless of any other qualities they like in the person or if they simply find that person attractive with no particular fetish. Often treated as strictly as fetishists with inclinations toward feederism, if not outright Acceptable Targets. If this is the case, then the solution must go toward the sexual problem first, because the weight is simply the symptom.Simply put, this character is outright attracted to fat people on an aesthetic level. Some women will keep weight on in an attempt to avoid having sex in the first place. Be her teammate in solving this problem because plenty of studies have shown that a partner can easily keep their spouse from losing weight, consciously or unconsciously. Don’t sabotage her efforts by stocking the pantry with junk food. You can exercise and cook healthy meals together. If she wants to lose weight, work on that with her. Then ask how she feels her weight affects those important things. Start not by talking about her weight but about your marriage, your feelings, your sex life. There is little downside to broaching the subject directly rather than hinting around. Be supportive of your wife rather than critical or distant. Explore why she has put on the weight, what food is replacing for her emotionally and why she isn't tuned in to or sympathetic to how this is making you feel. I think you should figure out what the real problem in your marriage is - in other words, confront the emotional issues. Now, you fear saying anything and she feels you are pulling away, so you are wary around each other, setting off a vicious circle of avoidance and annoyance. And being overweight sends a negative message - that your wife doesn’t care enough about herself, the marriage or whether you have sex. Sure, your wife might be less attractive to you in the physical sense. I’m not saying that having an overweight spouse has no impact on your sex life. Put yourself in your wife’s shoes: Think how horrible it must feel to be married to someone who doesn’t find you physically attractive. You haven't really done your wife any favors. Over time, people rarely get thinner or better-looking. You should have considered from the start whether this is the right spouse for you, keeping in mind that physical attraction does matter. I get this question often from both men and women: What should they do when their spouse has grown heavier and is no longer physically appealing?įirst of all, if you are not especially attracted to your partner from the beginning, as you mentioned, this will not likely change. But this is a wall between us and an increasing source of emotional distress, anguish, loss of intimacy and hormonal hell. In many ways - children, finances, practical things - we communicate well. I’d like to say that she is so beautiful inside that the outside doesn't matter.
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